Weeks #1 | #2 | #3 | #4 | #5 | #6

AND HERE BEGINS ANOTHER WEEK.....have I just forgotten how quickly babies grow or is Seth doing it faster than Dan, Jordan and Sophie?Almost overnight he has changed and there isn't so much as a glimpse of tiny baby left, he is a big, solid boy, who can grasp toys, decide who and what he wants to look at, is selective who he smiles at, and making more sounds every day.I woke at 1am last night to an incredible banging noise......Seth with his fisher Price mirror crashing against the side of the crib........when I looked in and saw that grin I knew this wasn't going to be a 10 minute ‘top up' feed! I was right, 2 hours of grins, babbling, squealing, and burping. There is something special about these times, no one to interupt, no-one asking me where something is, no teenagers arguing, no meals to prepare,no where to go and nothing to do except watch this baby, and I don't have to share him with anybody! Of course it's easy for me to be poetic about him being awake because he is an incredibly good baby and being awake at night with him is a rare occurance, but believe me I have had a baby that screamed regularly from 1am -5am and at the same time had 2 little boys who were up with the larks at 6am,and a husband who had got bored with the whole family thing and left us to ‘play' at being young free and single.There wasn't a bit of joy in the night time routine that time around I promise! The ‘thing' this week is Seth's discovery of food. When he was born he decided he hated the breast, I fought him and persevered and we came to a compromise that he would have breast milk first thing in the morning, and last thing at night, until the battle was making us both miserable and I realised that the bottle was his choice! Now, it seems that he doesn't like that either! He loves solid food, the pediatrition gave me the go ahead to start him on solids, so now he sees the bowl and spoon and his arms wave, he squeals, his legs are like pistons and he eats whatever, without taking a breath! If he is in front of us when we eat, he gets so excited when we bring the fork up to our mouths but when we put the food in, he drops his bottom lip and starts to cry ‘til the next forkful comes up! As for the bottle, he spits it out, puts his tongue out so we can't get the bottle in, turns his head........so I wait til he is dropping and exhausted, and just as he is asleep enough to not realise he's drinking, but awake enough to suck , in it goes and he will drink the whole thing. What a funny boy! I think it won't be long until he is eating 3 meals a day and swigging from a cup, I want my baby to stay a baby but I don't think it's going to happen! I am finding being so far away from my family very difficult.My mum is the perfect gramma, she does the knitting thing, the suprises thing,the always knowing what they need thing, and just lives to kiss the babies.I can hardly bear it that she can't kiss this boy, can't hear the giggles, can't see the smiles, can't smell that glorious baby smell that comes from who knows where and disappears with no warning around 8 / 9 months.Seth,to all his family in England, is a photograph, and they are as sad about that as I am , but there it is,what can we do.Of course I am doing all I can to send photos, and keep her and the rest of my family up to date with what Seth is doing, but it's a poor substitute for real life.I'm so glad that I enjoyed every minute with them when they were close. On the other hand, his grandma that does live here, in this country, is visiting, and would,I suspect, be much happier if he was a poodle,but the less said about that the better......on to cheerier things! Actually, this isn't cheerier it is very, very sensible and life changing. I have made a promise to my friend in England that until she comes over in February ( I'm not going to begin to work out how many days that is ) I won't eat any cake, sweets, puddings, ice-cream or CHOCOLATE ) Now I made this promise because she was sad and depressed about her weight, and I am overweight too, but not particularly sad about it because I am, at last, able to realise that there is more to me than my figure,and like to think you wouldn't be able to fit all of what I am into a skinny body, besides which, I have a husband who genuinely is amazed if I ever mention a lack of positive self imagine, lovely man even if he is really irritating me today! So, I made this promise thinking how easy it would be because I eat so healthily these days!! OH MY GOODNESS I AM IN WITHDRAWAL!! How many times a day does my mouth water at the sight of something I NEED and my hand go to reach for it only to remember the promise.Thank goodness I made the promise, it has made me realise just how much junk I have been eating.Of course I now have to find something to replace all these things that have made me happy when I am in a bad mood, how can a piece of chocolate cake with fudge topping and a big dollop or two of ice cream ( vanilla's ok but COCOLATE will get me out of a depression deserving of medication) make even the dullest of days take on a glow of cheer and good will? How was it that I managed to get through thanksgiving and actually manage to feel thankful without pumpkin pie and whipped cream? Oh sweet mysteries of life,I feel I've lost you! However,I feel ( though loathe to admit it ) very well, I am, to my amazement able to function without copious amounts of sugar, and hoorah for great miracles my clothes are a tad more comfy than they were. I won't weigh myself because then I would feel as though I am on a diet and if I don't lose weight I will feel a failure and eat everything in sight and hate myself! So, it's keeping to the promise and feeling healthy if left out when the rest of the family are having dessert. ‘Til next week I will say, as they say in the Midlands ( Birmingham, Derby, ) Ta- Ra a bit.

IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS. And I love it! I have abandoned the English " gosh I hope that's not too showy" mentality and embraced the American, do it early, do it bright and do it BIG style! I am totally in awe of how everything is celebrated with such enthusiasm and gusto over here. We tend, in England to slip from easter to christmas hoping no-one sees us if we let our hair down, trying to be sophisticated and proper at all times, well, I'm here, and I AM HAVING A BLAST!! If it sits still it's got lights on it, ( note to my teenagers, show me you can move or you never know where the next string of lights will go!) if it's transparent it has been painted with glass paints so that it looks like stained glass, I have plans for a christmas tree that will put Trafalgar Square's to shame and am trying very hard to remember it's 3 weeks away.Who said the magic fades as you grow up? Only if you let it I say.
My boy can laugh! Not the grunty, "is that a laugh ?" Kind, the infectious, out loud, blasting belly laugh kind,and it has me thinking about the miracles of nature and how amazing it is that the timing with these little people is so spot on, take for instance, a newborn, here we are with this tiny, dependant person who needs all our attention and all our time, and we give it, we bend through hoops to keep them safe and comfortable, we forget our own needs and wants and give it all to the tiny person,and that's fine until all the energy feels sucked out of us, we are almost on our knees and feel as though we have given everything and have nothing in return, and then they SMILE and we find the reserves to walk another hour, to pat, and rock and feed and soothe, because we know that it is working,it's worth it. Then time goes by and everyone around us has gone back to ‘real' life, going to work / school etc. and all the chores are still there, and it's been long enough for everyone to feel that it ought to be possible for us to do it all, even with a baby,and we see the smile and know it's worth it all but it's SO HARD! The mountain of laundry is toppling, the family wears clothes that have the cheesecloth, long ago almost fashionable, perhaps it'll come back, crumpled look because ironing has to be the lowest priority, it all begins to seem too much and then you do something so incredible, so simple, so right that they LAUGH! And once again, who cares when the kitchen floor was last scrubbed, who notices if I am wearing the same clothes as yesterday I MADE MY BOY LAUGH! So let someone else vacuum, let no-one do the polishing, I am doing it right. This is my reward, these children are my treasure, and they are where my heart is .And my heart is full with the simple joy of this boy's laugh.So, until next week, I will say, as they say in my 98 year old nana's house "cheerybye"

JEEPERS CREEPERS..............Seth loves Louis Armstong! Actually, when I was pregnant with him, I had a thing for Louis, and would play his music all the time, and without fail, everytime "jeepers creepers" came on, Seth would go crazy! So I made a point of every evening, playing at least that one track as almost an experiment, meaning when he was born, to play it and see if it calmed him, or excited him, but I forgot! Then a couple of days ago, Dan was playing around with the computer and playing different music, " The Entertainer" came on and we danced and whistled and Seth just LOVED it, so we have done it at bath time since. This evening, I remembered Louis and played it- and my goodness, arms and legs like pistons, and cooing and aahhing and grinning! What else does he like? Sitting bolt upright in a chair with daddy, watching the election, with daddy explaining who everyone is and what's happening! We have tried cartoons, and Fantasia, no interest at all, but the minute the election news is on he sits almost mesmerised by it!!Extraordinary boy! I'm beginning to think that my earlier conviction that he was a placid, ploddy baby, were off! If it can be kicked, banged or shaken, he does it with every ounce of his energy.Every day his co-ordination is getting better and his toys really get a bashing. He loves noisy toys, his ‘kick start' is absolutely the favourite, closely followed by an activity centre at the bottom of his cot that gets a good kicking every morning! We got him the Fisher Price piano toy that ties to the cot, but I'm afraid it's a bit gentle for him, and he thinks it's too quiet, we'll keep trying but I think we might be disappointed!! I am beginning to see that as soon as he can move on his own, we are in for a busy, busy time, and I look around my house that is catered for teenagers and I go cold at the thought of baby proofing! I'm not sure whether I am looking forward to Seth being on the move, except this age....nearly 4 months, is one of the most frustrating because he is awake so much and very bored but can't yet do much to entertain himself, so we walk, and talk, and play and sing and he soaks it all in, but try to walk away and leave him for a moment and he is FURIOUS!! Oh Oh! Have we overdone the loving? NEVER! He is still so little, and is such a rewarding baby..and there are so many of us here to give him time, I hope he grows up feeling completely adored and knowing that he has all these people right here watching out for him. I am loving each day and am as intrigued by his every development as I was with my other babies........what fun this can be when we let it ...... I am SO glad for this new chance to live this baby's life, without all the hardships and trials that were there when my others were tiny. I have learned so many valuable lessons along this motherhood road, and am so grateful for the opportunity to use them with Seth.And I love sharing them with you. How amazing is it to be able to stay at home with these babies, and talk about that with pride? It seems so many people think it is somehow less than a real job to be a homemaker and SAHM. Not me, I love the whole thing and am very proud to have been able to be the primary care giver to these 4 children, when even my 6'2" 15 year old walks in the door and the first thing he does is check that I am here, I know I made the right choice for my family.So to all of us who have chosen this career, and are lucky enough to be able to give it our all......let's hold our heads up and never be apologetic for what we do.....Well done us!!
So, that's it for another week, ........ so, until next week, as they say down Plymouth, Steady as you go then.

Week #5 (12/18/00)

AND THEN THERE WERE MORE...........how strange and exciting, how frightening and thrilling is this life that we live? I live and learn that the one thing we can rely on is that life will go it's way and it is rarely the path we had planned. For as long as I can remember I knew I would have a big family. Grand houses and fast cars have never held much fascination for me, but the thought of a big, old house with loads of children and noise and toys and memories and security has always been my dream. I married and had 3 children and was on my way, then when my 3rd baby was 3 months,and my boys 23 months and nearly 4, I found myself alone, all the dreams were changed, this wasn't at all how it should be, my children being raised by a single parent, they had frightening things happen to them that were beyond my control, 2 abducted by a stranger, hurt and frightened so badly that it took 4 years of continual work and love and tears to have them back to little boys who could laugh and play and not look over their shoulders, and a baby who until she was 5 was bright and clever and funny, then develop epilepsy and behavioural problems that once again placed us in a scarey place from which I felt we may never return. What happened to the life I had planned? Where was the house with enormously thick walls that would hold out demons and keep in safety and serenity? For 10 years I raised these 3 children in circumstances that only other people lived in, not me, not us.And sometimes I felt so deserted, so forgotten that it was impossible to believe in any dreams, to get up, get through the day and go to sleep were miracles to me, until I realised that life is what we make it. We will never stop the nightmares, bad things DO happen to good people, but they don't have to crush us, we can get up and fight and learn and use what we have learned to enrich our lives.That's what I decided to do. My children are now, strong, well adjusted, trusting, loud, noisy people with opinions and minds of their own, there are other children, not from me, that have been in our lives and benefitted from all I learned in those miserable years. And now? Now it's my turn. I have my help mate, my friend, the man whose dream is also the big,old, house, with the children......we have Seth, and miracles of miracles in August another baby! After 10 years of being alone, thinking that my dream had gone to someone else, I'm living it and loving it and still learning that we can never dictate how life will be, but we can make the very best of how it is, and when we do that who knows what our reward will be?
I am under no illusions that this will be exhausting and there will days when it seems less than a dream, but right now, I am soaking in every glorious moment of incredulity, and the realisation that it is REAL! I lie on my bed with Seth and have his face so close to mine that I feel his breath, I smell that intoxicating baby smell and I thank God for this new life, that my nightmare wasn't having to live with never knowing this feeling. Aahhhhhh! Of this is heaven made.
My baby spent his first night in his own room last night.After a really loud night of listening to him grunt, burp, fidget,whine, and sigh, and jumping up at every sound thinking he needed something,and waking up at 4am to see him looking at me and wanting to play......we moved him into his own room....Ahhhh! Tiny,tiny, boy in a big room.I was going to sleep blissfully, uninterrupted by the gruntlet. HA!! Naturally, he slept as soundly as ever while I was in and out of his room all night making sure he wasn't lonely and staring at the space in our room where he used to be! Just as I was going to bed and checked on him, he had wriggled right under the covers....so of course I knew he would suffocate in the night and that meant I had to check him extra carefully at least once an hour! It would be ok if I thought it would be a temporary thing but I STILL go and look at Sophie when I wake in the night and can never believe how huge she looks with her long colt like legs flung outside the covers and her mouth in that frowny pout that makes her deliciously kissy when she's asleep. Now I would love to say that I check on the boys too but have you ever walked into a teenage boys room half way through the night? Not something taken on lightly, so earthquake and fire excepting, I allow myself the memories of my newly bathed, powdery baby boys and save myself from the reality of feet and farts.
ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ARE ANYWHERE NEAR ME....... the pregnancy brain, mixed with new mommy brain is terrifying! Guess what I did yesterday?! DH Seth and I went shopping for the very last christmas ‘bits', we got to the Mall, opened the van doors, pushed the buttons down to lock the doors and discovered we had left the stroller at home, so Dh stayed in the mini van with the fast asleep Seth safely strapped in the car seat while I ran in and got the things we needed, I was obviously quicker than Howard thought I would be as he's lain down in the very back seat to join Seth in a bit of a snooze, he sat up, got out of the van, and I slammed the door ready to set off.....locking Seth And the keys in the car!! OH MY GOODNESS, I just about held it together while Seth slept, and DH ran into the Mall to get help,I grabbed a man who looked as though he could break into a car blindfolded, but alas he was a law abiding citizen who did, however, have a cell phone, I called a friend who said he would be with us in minutes, the security at the Mall called 911 and Seth woke up! Oh how awful to see him cry and be able to do nothing except stand there like an idiot yelling across the car park to DH ( who was waiting to direct the fire truck) "Oh.. he's crying!" All at the same time, Kenny the hero arrived with a coat hanger and the fire truck and crew got there....The coat hanger won and my sweaty baby was saved! Of course, I now can't go near the car without someone asking where the keys are !
I have rambled, so I'm off ‘til next week,and as they say in Essex, see ya!

Week #6 (12/25/00)

MOVE OVER MAMA,'CAUSE I WANNA GET TO DAD! Well, it's a good job I'm too tired to be sensitive because Seth is completely in love with his daddy! He is fine with me all day and is still a good boy, but as soon as daddy comes home from work he absolutely refuses to have anything to do with me! He grins and waves his arms and legs until daddy picks him up ( not long to wait then) and then it is the funniest thing but he won't look at me, he almost cricks his neck to look anywhere but at me! And to think I had warned DH that any day he should get ready for the mummy only syndrome! I love to watch the two of them together as they walk around the house, sit at the computer, watch the news, talk about the day ( well DH talks and Seth seems to listen to every word ), exercise ( Seth that is and daddy seems to watch every movement), and eat.....still the love affair with food, which really shouldn't suprise me because every Wood man and boy that I have met loves food, they eat it , cook it ( and BOY do they cook?!) And they talk about it. I have never heard a sports conversation between them but they talk about food with such passion it's impossible not to be impressed, they know where to buy the best ingredients for every delicious meal they make, compare restaurants, remembering who serves what and how big the portions are...and here's a revelation, Seth was born not to glorious classical music, or peaceful whale sounds, no, I laboured and pushed my son into the world to the ever so relaxing ( not ) FOOD CHANNEL!!! the nurses didn't increase the pitocin, they kicked it up a notch! When my feet were placed in those steel stirrups, the Iron chef was waging his war, I am suprised that no-one shouted BAM! When Seth's head arrived! So, at meal times, when Seth used to cry, he now sits on the end of our huge dining table in his bouncy chair, watching every mouthful we eat, and dreaming of the moment he can taste his daddy's roast beef, or sweet and sour chicken, he can't wait for vegetables cooked with garlic, and salivates at the smell of spaghetti and daddy's special sauce.Yes, I can see that Seth is definately a Wood when it comes to food and look forward to the day when he joins in the passionate conversations with daddy, grandpa, uncle Jack and big brother Robby.
HOW MANY BROTHERS CAN A LITTLE BOY HAVE??? Tomorrow, Seth will meet Rob, his big brother who lives in Sacramento, with his mom, all in all he has 3 brothers but Rob in a way seems like at least 5 boys, he needs entertaining most of the time because look out world if he ever gets bored! It will be interesting to see how Rob is with Seth, his mom has 5 girls but Rob is the only boy, and he is Howard's only other natural child. So Rob has never had to share his dad and has lived with his mom since June, just before Seth was born. He was SO excited when we told him he had a brother and we hope he enjoys Seth as much as we do, so tomorrow, the 2 Wood brothers will meet and it will be, for Howard, a moment to take a ‘heart picture'. I know that whenever I watch Daniel and Seth together, my heart takes a picture and stores it for when Dan is grown and busy with his life, there is something incredibly moving about having such big children at the same time as a tiny baby, it seems just moments ago that Dan was my tiny boy and here he is, on the verge of becoming a man, I can't help but look at Seth and know that with him I must savour every day because these baby moments are fleeting and before I know it we'll be amazed at how quickly he has grown.So thank goodness that unlike a digital camera, the heart can store a miriad of pictures, because this life has so many ‘moments' worthy of remembering.
It's time to go and be festive, to lose myself in all the splendour of this time of year........ and so, until next week, as they say all over the place ........Have a good one then.

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